Lesson to Live By for Daughters

By Lashawnda Becoats

Being a mother is a gift. You could not have told me that when I was 18 years old, pregnant in high school and uncertain of what my future would hold. Now it’s hard to believe that my three children (two daughters and a son) are adults. What a journey.

When I look back on how nervous I was raising my daughters, I can now that say that having daughters has shaped my life in more ways than I could’ve imagined. First of all, raising girls comes with a special task…PATIENCE! But honestly, learning to stay true to myself as a woman and being  a mother was a balancing act that took some time to master, because our daughters are always looking at how we live our life as guidance.

Today moms have to be mindful of all the mixed messages in society, messages about everything from beauty to equal pay. Add social media to that mix, and believe me; my daughters and I still talk about how to be true to yourself and not get lost in what everyone else thinks.

The best thing about having adult daughters is that we’ve grown up together. I enjoy spending late nights conversing with them, while listening to music I have no clue about. Lol! My millennial girls keep me hip, and trust me, we spend a lot of time laughing our heads off while watching videos on YouTube.

We’ve been through some challenges, but I love witnessing how beautiful, intelligent and well-rounded my daughters have become. I definitely got that part right, and it warms my heart.  

As they write chapters in their own books of life, here are some of the things I’ve told them over the years.

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1. Be yourself. -–  Who you are and what you have to offer to the world are valuable. Don’t shrink to make other people feel comfortable. Learn from your mistakes, and always apologize when you are wrong.

2. Take care of yourself while you are young. -– Mind, body and spirit have to be nurtured throughout life. Don’t wait until you’re older to be good to yourself. Drink water, read, pray, eat healthy, exercise and rest.

3. Save something for a rainy day. – Money isn’t everything but not having any money when you need it can be stressful. Pay yourself first, and always save more than you spend.

4. Learn to love your body. -– There will always be days when you will not love what you see in the mirror. That’s OK and natural for every woman. Learn to accept your body type, and don’t compare yourself to others.

5.  Follow your intuition. -– Intuition is “God sense,” and when you learn to let it guide you, it will never lead you wrong.

6. Treat others kindly, but don’t be a fool. -– Respect and kindness should be reciprocal. When they're not, don’t let anyone take advantage of you, ever.

7. Travel and see the world. – You will learn a lot about yourself when you explore the world. Don’t be afraid to visit places where people don’t look like you. Try different cuisines. See the sights and experience the local culture and people.

8.  Dream a big dream. -– Never limit yourself. Set goals, and always dream about what you want for your life, because anything is possible.

9. Love is possible. -– Heartbreak will come, but don’t close your heart and become bitter. Stay open to love. The right person is waiting to find and love you.

10. Watch what people do more than what they say. -- Actions will always speak louder than words. How a person treats you speaks volumes.

11.  Credit is king. -- Don’t buy things you don’t need or use. Pay your bills on time, and monitor your credit score. Being financially sound will make your life easier.

12. Love is unconditional. -– I will always love and be there for you, no matter what.